last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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