i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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