I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
