Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
