i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
