Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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