im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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