I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
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