Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
