3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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