Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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