Non-Jews are for practice
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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