I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
