I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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