I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
