I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So vagazzling was a success
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
