Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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