Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
