weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
