The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
