I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Jerry, you need to find god
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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