Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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