from now on my penis is your penis
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You're a waste of cheezeits
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
