question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
