yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
