Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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