He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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