your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I want to fling myself into the sun
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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