Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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