i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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