hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
