She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
