you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
