Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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