I accidentally burped into my bong.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's blow job season.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
