I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
