pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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