So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
