I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
