theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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