It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
