I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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