Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
