I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
