My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
