it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
