Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
