I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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