check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
two words...techno handjob
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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