a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
