I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
