You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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