In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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