so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
