MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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